The Art of Masculinity (Part II)

The Art of Masculinity (Part II)

A man was walking along the street and he fell into a huge hole. 

“HELP!” he shouted. To his relief, his friend peered over the top. “Give me a hand Tom, I’m stuck.”

“Sorry mate”, he said, “I don’t know what to do.” He walked away.

Later another friend popped his head over the top. “Help me Dave, I’m stuck.”

“Sorry pal”, he said, “I don’t know what to do.” Dave also walked away.

Soon, Ben walked past. “Ben, please help mate”. Ben jumps in the hole.

“What have you done that for? Now we are both stuck!”

“Don’t worry”, Ben said. “I’ve been in this hole before. I know the way out”

The masculine journey is an apprenticeship journey. It’s a showing the way, guiding another, and a putting a ‘hand on the shoulder’ that all men wish and long for. We can all probably remember as a child when an older man gave us a pat on the back, a genuine well done, or a firm loving hand on the shoulder. In that split second, you stand a foot taller and feel like a warrior. 

I will pour out my Spirit on all people.
Your sons and daughters will prophesy,
your old men will dream dreams,
your young men will see visions.

(Joel 2:28. The Bible – NIV) 

Men hold many roles: husband, father, brother, uncle, son, grandfather, friend, leader, and that is not including any career based roles. The pressure of the average working week being the highest in Europe is leaving UK men burnt out and weary. Suicide is still the biggest killer in men under 50 years old (SMS 2016).

Masculinity is taking a beating. 

But that isn’t where the story needs to end. The light at the end of the tunnel is ever increasing. Harold Thurman once said;

Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and go and do it. Because what the world needs is people who are alive.”

If men find their passion, if they truly find what makes them tick, then that can change the world. Find your adventure, your core, your enjoyment. And go and do it.

To make a lasting change, men need to connect. They need to first connect with Jesus, then connect with themselves, then with their passion. As a life-coach, I see first hand, men who are trying to grasp at life. Holding on with finger tips. Setting goals, dreaming big, reading ‘self-help’ books, pushing targets and forcing the future. These are not all necessarily a bad idea, but setting a goal of having more money will not fix the stinginess in your life. That is root issue stuff that goes deeper than any goal or book can help you with. That is where Jesus comes in. He can and will heal that root and turn the tree of your life into something more beautiful than you could have ever imagined. 

To connect with Jesus is simple. Ask Him. Seek Him in all you do. He enjoys the same passions as you do. He loves to cook, write poetry, look after children, climb hills, canoe, photograph, skate board, dance, play sport, climb trees, relax and socialise. If you’re struggling with that all important connection to Christ,  get in touch with me or others you know for any support you may need. In brief, I run coaching and mentoring to help bring healing and freedom.

The son of God became a man to enable men to become sons of God.” CS Lewis.

Connect with Him. Connect with yourself. Connect with your passion. It is vital that they are in this order. You can set as many goals as you like- you can write a plan, dream a dream and talk about the future forever and you can be ready for all the fruit that will bring, but if the root is not right then you will not get the fruit that you want.

Connect with Him.

Connect with yourself.

Connect with your passion.

Change your world.


Much love. 



SMS 2016. Stress Management Society

Rob Harvie Written by:


  1. 27th December 2017

    Found you through Instagram, but just now catching up with your blog posts–they’re great. I was blogging on similar topics at but got out of the habit.
    I really enjoy your writing, keep it up. I think we have a lot of similar passions: I work with men and young men a lot (with a charity called Global Adventure) and I bring up the topic of initiation a lot. It’s a definite need these days.

    • Rob Harvie
      2nd January 2018

      Hi Dave.
      Thanks for the message – great to connect. I’ve heard of Global Adventure (I follow them on Instagram). I’m also part of the men’s movement ‘4M’ which I believe has connections with you guys. Where are you based?

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