Ask 100 people what the word ‘father’ means to them and the answers will be diverse: kind, loving, angry, passive, fun, distant. Many will have a good word, many will not.
Fathers and fatherhood is such a contentious issue that everyone will have a view point on.
Official figures state that:
- There are 1.8 million households in the UK with no father present (ONS 2015).
- Domestic abuse will affect 1 in 4 women (LWA 2015)
- Suicide is the biggest killer of men under 50 yrs old
You may read this in full knowledge that your dad was brilliant. And I applaud that.
You may read this in full knowledge that your dad was anything but brilliant. And I am sorry for that. Truly.
Fathers are the attitude thermostat of the home. They set the tone of the house. If there is tension in the dad, there will be tension throughout the home. If there is peace in the dad, there is peace throughout home.
Children need our best. They should never feel that they come second to a job; or second to a TV program. Nor should they feel that they have your attention only after you have checked the news, social media and text messages. They should feel valued and listened to. They should feel they have a voice. They should feel loved and protected and safe.
I wrote a short blog a while back about how it matters less about what you say and more about what you’re being. It was called ‘Being not saying. Part 1’. Give it a read.
There is a huge father gap in this time. A generation of young people who are carrying a father wound; a pain, an injury, a lack: left from the father. This causes men to limp their way through life, only experiencing a fraction of what life can offer. But what can we do? Men need other men. Iron to sharpen iron. One man to help another.
With this in mind, there is a wave of men giving their all to build better futures for all young people who cross their path. If you feel that you are part of this solution, may I ask that we share ideas and thoughts through groups, fellowship and social media? This is very much my heart and passion, so please get involved and get in touch via email or through comments, or through #themoxienarrative.
Fathers, you are all incredible. You are making a lasting impact on your children. Keep going.
ONS 2015. Office of National Statistics
LWA 2015. Living Without Abuse.
SMS 2016. Stress Management Society